Pre-Employ Blog

Most Epic Responses to Failed Drug Tests

Posted by admin on July 10, 2015

As an employer, drug and alcohol testing is one of the utmost important things you can do both before and after the hiring process. You would think that candidates would be prepared to pass a drug test if they are actually putting the effort into applying for the job. Think again! Check out some of these hilarious responses to failed drug tests. 


Here are some of the most hilarious responses to failed drug tests:

1. I used to smoke pot back in the day but I am really fat so I hear it stays in your system for a really long time.

2. I think I'm gonna' pee hot. I met this guy at the bowling alley and he gave me two pills and I took 'em and I haven't been feeling good all weekend.

3. I haven't smoked it since 2006. I really don't know why I would be 10x over the legal limit of THC. 

4. I got it in Canada and its legal there.

5. Impossible! I bought some stuff on line that was guaranteed to make me pass the test.

6.  But Heroin is legal in Amsterdam … where I was on vacation.

7.  I smoked pot at a Christmas party last year. (It was October when the drug test was administered.)

8.  I was in a wheelchair and must have rolled over some marijuana and it got on my hands.

9.  I got in a wreck over two years ago, and they gave me painkillers for my back, but I don’t have the bottle anymore.

10.  I was bitten by a recluse spider.

11.  I don’t smoke pot, but my neighbors do and it must have blown over from their house into my window, thus causing me to fail the test.

12.  I buy hemp oil and make salad dressing with it.

13.  Must have been in the wedding cake.

14.  I thought I would be positive for pot, not meth!

15.  I wasn’t doing coke but my boyfriend was and he must have kissed me and it entered my system that way.

So there you have it!  Some of the funniest responses to failed drug test's.  

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Topics: Drug Testing, Background Checks